So fucking great…

Don’t get me wrong. But it feels like you’re about to be murdered by someone that is sharpening its knife and you say: “Do you need any help with that?”

Again, life has this incredibly annoying and effective way to make you believe everything is fine and you will live happy forever after and suddenly, at the least expected moment, all blows up leaving you in this very uncomfortable state of bewilderment and disappointment.

Who is right and who is wrong? I don’t know and I don’t really care anymore. The frustration is big and the continuous sighs do not solve anything. No matter what you do, it seems you’re always missing something. The words were not enough, your good intentions were not good enough, the stability, quiet and peace proved to be something very boring and to be avoided at all costs. The experiences are the most important thing in the world (so they say), and no matter how hard you try, there’s something there that is still bothering both of us, knowing deeply that something broke and the story is over as we know it. It does not mean that there has to be an ending to it, but who knows if what is about to come will be good and enjoyable for me.

Stupid me, believing that this was it, that this is what it was meant to be, finally finding that much sought balance. Again, life has proven me wrong.

The next question is: what do I still have to learn? What am I missing? Again, I don’t know and the will to discover it is fading fast and if I want to bother anymore.

Time will tell what’s next, as usual. Nonetheless, the bitterness of the outcome is still there and it is very, very uncomfortable…