Clueless

Here I am again. This time, with lots of “important” things sorted out: money, a loved one, health, a slightly more stable state of mind and yet, I still don´t know what is my true calling or where I should walk towards.

Lots of past decisions were built over an unstable foundation, based on fear and a sick need to be accepted or recognized. And, foolish me, I happily marched on putting together my life plan on top without even considering the assumptions I made were completely wrong.

Now I´m again at a crossroads. Is it coaching? Is it face-reading? Is it technology and consulting? It is simply doing nothing?

The main difference now is I´m starting to be really fed up with this so called search that has not yielded any tangible results after all these years, aside a bitter feeling of failure and some health issues. Perhaps I should stop seeking and just focus on the things I like to do without thinking too much. The main flaw this approach has is that my life feels like an empty vessel, every day exactly the same as the day before and of course, time is running out and I´m not getting any younger.

I´ve been recalling what made me happy in the past. Books and video games have been always my friends. They relieve tension and transport me to far away places for a while, helping me to regain the lost balance this life I´m living is producing. Perhaps I just need to let go and do whatever pleases me, without expectations or definite plans. Time again, will tell if this leads me somewhere or not…